This post has been inspired by a featured video from A Current Affair entitled "Bullying Victim Speaks Out." If you haven't seen it yet, you might want to check it out before continuing to read.
I had mixed reactions while viewing this interview and the situation on which it is based. I'm still not certain what I really think, but perhaps that will be solidified through the act of writing this post. I came across this post on Twitter thanks to @SamGliksman, and thought I'd take a look. Preventing bullying is an issue that I've been interested in pursuing at my school ever since I sat with a student for a lunch period after he'd been harassed by others at his locker at the start of lunch. Unfortunately this student felt his course of action was to transfer schools. As dark a moment as that was, the depth of the issue was brought to light for me on "Wear a Pink Shirt Day" (for anti-bullying awareness) when I was told by two of my classes that bullying doesn't happen at our school. I couldn't believe it. It was further reinforced as I began to prep for leading a PD session at my school on building school community and I've further explored this through a session at our teacher's convention MPTCA.
When I looked at the title of the video, my first reaction was "Good for you Casey." It takes guts to stand up and speak out against bullying; there is always that fear that any form of resistance will result in swift and brutal retaliation. There is a lot of bullying that goes unreported for just this reason. That's a disheartening, though somewhat understandable truth. Self-preservation is instinctual, and if a victim feels the only outcome of "telling" will be, at best a "we'll look into it" response, it's not hard to figure out why they'd prefer to keep it to themselves.
My second reaction, I must admit, was quite different. As I viewed the footage of the incident, I couldn't help but cringe (every time) they showed the bully being slammed into the ground. I remember thinking that Casey was lucky the boy wasn't paralyzed (assuming that if he was there would be a different title on the interview). It was then that I realized this wasn't so much about "Speaking Out" as it was about "Standing Up" and I was a bit repulsed that ACA would run a piece about the glory of violent retaliation.
I do believe it is important for a victim to find the courage to stand up to her/his aggressor(s): It's good for their self-esteem, teaches them to try independence first, and speaks to the seriousness of the incidents (not that being bullied isn't serious--we must listen--but sometimes it's hard as an adult to determine the extent and act appropriately).
But . . .
How far is too far ?
When it comes to bullying, unpleasant situations, threats or acts of physical violence, I've always taught my own children, and I teach it to my students as well, to make a decision between trying to talk it out or walking (running) away. To turn to physical violence is a last resort ONLY when rendered unable to run. I hold this position for two reasons: my morals (which are beside the point today), and social laws about reasonable force. Self-defense, by my understanding, allows only for you to make yourself safe. It does not allow you to injure because you have been injured. Anything beyond this moves you into the realm of unreasonable force and there are legal ramifications then that you will bear.
How far is too far? Consider it this way. Casey did not feel the need to repeatedly kick his bully once he had the bully down, and on this point I applaud him, but what if he had thought it necessary to pull a knife or a gun to make the abuse stop permanently? What would our reactions be then? Is 15-year-old-Casey still a hero and role model for "speaking out"or is he a murderer? Would it be a sad crime of passion or another case of teen gunmen in public schools?
How far is too far? Personally, I agree with the school's zero tolerance policy on fighting and Casey's suspension (assuming he went beyond self-defense). Violence is very rarely the answer. Violence often leads to escalation of a situation and disastrous consequences.
All of that being said, I recognize these are my own beliefs, albeit based on law, and that others have very different values. Many of my students assert that they have been taught to return a blow with a blow, to finish the fight if someone else starts it, to stand up for themselves no matter the means. And I can respect that attitude in some ways; it can produce positive results. But students don't realize that they need to make this a conscious choice. They need to realize there will be consequences for these types of actions and they need to make the decision knowing that the law is NOT on their side most of the time. Individuals need to be able to analyze a situation and determine for themselves which issues to pursue, the necessary actions, and the consequences they are willing endure to get the results they desire.
This video does do a lot for awareness of bullying as an issue in our schools. Casey honestly admits to feeling helpless, lonely, having a lack of supporters, and to contemplating suicide. The effects of bullying are terrible and parents and teachers often see only a glimpse of what actually goes on. This can make it extremely difficult to address the bullying issue. Two keys to putting a stop to bullying are helping bullies become empathetic to the plights of others and to teach bystanders to take action. We need more peacemakers. We need more students to choose not to be silent. We need individuals to speak out.
Ultimately, we all have choices to make. I'm not about to judge Casey's choice today because I wasn't there and I wasn't in his situation. Casey made the choice he thought was best. Was it self-defense? Did it go beyond reasonable force? I'm not a lawyer :( so I don't know. But I didn't hear a single comment that suggests Casey believes his suspension is unjust, whereas he has implied he has no regrets.
My final reactions were of admiration (mixed with a touch of relief) when Casey offered his very mature advice to other victims: "school doesn't last forever--hang in there" rather than "beat up your bully."
I agree wholeheartedly with your commentary. I could not watch the entire video. I do not advocate violence at all. Well, rarely. I have to say that I do support the UN's actions against Libya, which are violent. But even in this I see the possibility for further escalation of violence rather than a solution to it.
ReplyDeleteBullying is a huge issue, and it is good that Casey stood up for himself, but what if now he becomes the bully? What if his violent outburst, which made him feel power, now corrupts his interactions with others?
With many things in life, a short-term solution is not the answer. There must be a more lasting way to end violence against others.
Is this way of acting primal, an old-world behaviour? We are changing so many things in society, I think this is one of those things that must change. Man (as in males) should not have to fit the lover or fighter mold. It's time to break free of that.
If bullies were afraid of physical retaliation, they wouldn't be bullies any more. Good for Casey. If he'd broken the bully's neck, well, that would be a watchword to other bullies.
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